"Critter ties hail from the maritime tradition of New England, and typically depict creatures such as lobsters, crabs, and ducks. The greatest critter is the whale, and the greatest depiction of a whale is the hard-to-find whale with a water spout."
— Kent Wang
In 193 a.d., having killed the Emperor Pertinax, in a bold move the Prætorian Guard proceeded to sell off the entire Roman Empire by means of an auction. The winning bid was a promise of 25,000 sesterces per man to the Guard. The winner, Didius Julianus, was duly declared emperor but lasted for only two months before suffering from what is perhaps the earliest and most extreme instance of the “winner’s curse”–he was beheaded.
- Auction Theory, Vijay Krishna
"As you make your decision to act, you can feel the confidence flowing into you. Your brow furrows. Your back straightens. Your jaw tightens, and your eyes narrow. It’s time to be the hero of your story. It’s unfortunate that your heroism will be a somewhat abstract effort of planning many motivational hacks instead of dashing through a burning building scooping up children or slugging criminals to defend the innocent, since you don’t come equipped with adrenal glands that fire when you sit down at your computer to map out goals. I find that it helps to imagine oneself as a heroic Rocky-Mulan-Churchill-dragon-warrior preparing for battle."
— Nick Winter
"A smiley face emoticon, a symbol of 21st century love distilled down to two characters."
"The goal of life isn’t to be happy. The goal of life is to be awake. To be fully present."
— Stan Beecham
"Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive."
— Andrew Grove
"I use chopsticks to drink water, babe."
"Science doesn’t give a damn about religions, because “damns” are not measurable units and therefore have no place in research. As soon as it’s possible to detect damns, we’ll quantize perdition and number all the levels of hell. Until then, science doesn’t care. Scientists don’t demand to run the Eucharist through a mass-spectrometer."
— Luke McKinney
"It’s worth nothing that even a book based on magic spells violating the laws of thermodynamics admits that the imperial system is stupid and everyone should be using metric."
— Luke McKinney
"One Million Moms is a website based on intolerance and the inability to count. It’s named the same way a kid might call himself Commander Badass Boobtoucher: desperate wish-fulfillment and blatant lies. Despite being an entirely online group, they only had about 40,000 Facebook fans, an accurate count both of their real support and of how many moms don’t know their kids have already blocked them. By their math, I could call my dick the Pleaser of Luxembourg and it would be more accurate, because I’m only short about half a million people."
— Luke McKinney on the American “Family” Association